A Tale of Amusement and Horror
by Najio
Summary: This is not going to end well... I'm writing a story where the seven are kidnapped and forced to read Fanfiction. You heard me! So, I'm also not going to pick the stories. YOU are. Just send me a pm or review telling me to use a story. The only rule is that the author has to give permission. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE! Rated T for now, gonna up it to the max rating for all stories.
1. Introduction: HI GUYS!

**This is almost definitely a REALLY BAD IDEA. So, this first chapter is just going to be an introduction, and I'll need some reviews to continue. If you have a story that you want them to read, just tell me in a review! As soon as I get the first request I'll start. The stranger the better! Rating will probably change, I'll keep it as high as the highest story I'm using… if that makes any sense, which it doesn't. :P OH GOD! Writing this in Times New Roman… smiley faces look EVIL! :D IT'S GONNA EAT ME IN MY SLEEP AHHH!**

**Okay… I'll make them as in-character as I can! Also, I'm going to do this as post-Blood of Olympus… so if someone important dies in that book or something OH WELL!**

**Disclaimer: I didn't write PJO or any of these fanfictions (For now, if I'm desperate I might have to use mine…)! Too lazy to make a funny disclaimer.**

* * *

When he opened his eyes, Percy had to resist the urge to shut them again. Everything was glaringly bright, and he seemed to be lying on something hard. Alarm bells went off in his head. This was definitely not his cabin, and he saw no reason why anyone would move him in his sleep if they were a friend. Shielding his eyes, he sat up groggily.

"What…" he groaned, still mostly blind.

"Ah, my apologies. I suppose I should turn down the lights," said an unfamiliar voice. In Percy's experience, unfamiliar voices usually belonged to people who planned to eat you. Still, whoever or whatever it was did dim the light, and he began to make out more white than he'd ever seen. The walls, ceiling, floor, all of it was a smooth and shiny white surface. He raised his head towards the mysterious speaker, and stared. He had red hair, but not the coppery kind. It looked like a hair-shaped spatter of blood on the wall. His eyes were gold, a bit like Hazel's, but gleamed with an eager light that sent chills down his spine.

"You may want to turn around. They look to be waking up," he said in a mild tone. Percy whirled, and jerked to his feet. The other six heroes of the battle against Gaea were all sprawled on the floor, and starting to stir. He sprinted to the corner of the room, where Annabeth was sitting up, blinking in the glare from the walls.

"Are you okay?" he asked, trying to sound calm but not really succeeding.

"Yeah, but what- who is that?" she demanded, her gaze on the tall figure leaning on the wall furthest from them.

"We're okay too, in case you're interested!" Leo said, grinning as he pushed himself to his feet. All seven of them were unharmed, at least so far, but Percy wasn't thrilled about being in this room, because it didn't seem to have doors.

"To answer your question, I am Shaydez."

"That doesn't explain anything!" Percy said, "What are we doing here?" He had a funny feeling he wouldn't like the answer. Shaydez laughed, which didn't help with the growing sense of danger building in his chest.

"I am bored, and you've had nearly a year without anything _interesting_."

"I don't want interesting!" Leo yelped, looking alarmed, "Boring is great! We're fine!"

"Yes. You are. Never fear, I don't plan on attacking you. That wouldn't be fair play," the man told them, sounding as if he was telling them that the sky was blue.

"How do you know?" Piper asked, looking ready to pummel him.

He didn't see the man move, but all of a sudden he was standing in front of her with a knife at her throat. "That's how," he replied, and the knife disappeared with a small popping sound. Everyone in the room was frozen in place, staring at him. Ares hadn't been that fast, even _Kronos_ hadn't been that fast.

"You say you don't want to fight," Hazel began, sounding like she was worried that he would yell 'NOPE!' and kill them, "So what _do _you want?"

The right side of his mouth slid up, revealing his canines in a feral grin that made Percy want to back up a few steps.

"I want to show you something," he said, and the far wall slid open, revealing another room just as blindingly white as the first. "Follow me."

They didn't have much of a choice. He could probably kill them as easily as most people could take off their shoes, and the next room didn't _look_ like a deathtrap. As Percy entered, he couldn't help but notice how nice it was. There were couches, white, a refrigerator in the corner, also white, and a huge screen set into the wall. It was blank, naturally with another glaringly _white_ screensaver, and facing the small ring of couches.

"That refrigerator over there will stock itself with whatever you need," Shaydez told them, sounding eerily similar to a real estate agent, "And when you are ready, that screen there will play audio recordings. It will pause whenever one of you has a comment. You will be reading stories written by regular mortals, about yourselves."

"What?" Hazel burst out, looking horrified, "But they don't know we exist, do they?" He laughed again.

"No, I've taken them from an… alternate reality of sorts. In this world, you are all characters in a popular book. Enjoy," he said, and vanished. There was no sound or puff of smoke, he was just _gone_.

The screen suddenly changed, showing a picture, and sound filled the room…

* * *

**Okay! So, send me a review if you want your story on there! Someone else's is okay too, just make sure they're okay with it! Ask them to PM me, just to let me know it's okay, because I DON'T WANT TO PLAGIARIZE!**


	2. PJTDBFF Part One

**This is by Hayley TT Showbiz, suggested by ZataraGrace! The title won't fit... so I'm just gonna abbreviate it, K?  
**

**To Guest: Yeah, I'm hoping for a Perico fic because the further from cannon the couples are, the funnier it'll be! :3**

**Okay, so I didn't _technically_ get permission for this one… ZataraGrace says they know the author in life, so if anyone has a problem with this, I'll remove it! K?**

**Bold is the screen thingy!**

**NOW! TO BUSINESS!**

* * *

Leo stared at the others, their bewildered expressions mirroring his own confusion. They were doing… what? What?!

"Uh…" he began, wishing he could think of anything else to say, "I guess we should sit?" Percy shrugged and vaulted over the nearest couch, then plopping himself down like he was at his house, not kidnapped by some super-powerful being who had decided to mess with them. Shrugging, he walked over and sat down on the end of one couch. It was softer than it had looked, and he sank into it, almost like it was eating him.

"Wow," said Jason, sitting next to Leo, "These are great!"

"Yeah," Annabeth replied, looking amused, "If you're going to be kidnapped, a room full of nice couches is a great place to end up." Then, the screen went dark, drawing everyone's attention towards it. It lit up again seconds later, revealing what looked like snow, with two red ribbons coiled around at the edges.

"**Percy Jackson, The Demigod Born From Flames," **it said.

Percy groaned, "Why me?" and Leo had to fight the urge to laugh.

**"By: Hayley TT Showbiz. Born from the flames, the first demigod to be born from Hestia. Blessed and trained by the Moon Titan, and the Pain Goddess. His name... Percy Jackson."**

"Born from _Hestia_?" Percy asked, sounding offended. "My dad is _Poseidon_!"

"Fan_Fiction_, remember?" Piper reminded him, grinning.

**"Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure - Percy J., Hestia - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,783 - Reviews: 275 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 339 - Updated: May 4, 2012 - Published: Apr 5, 2012 - id: 7993983**

**Author's Note: Hey guys,"**

"Hi!" Leo interrupted, grinning. This was going to be _fun_.

**"this is my first fanfic, please review and tell me how I did, I want to improve. This story is a totally new plot, and a beta-reader is on the way,"**

"A what?" asked Hazel, her eyebrows furrowing. Leo shrugged.

**"so I am truly sorry for all the terrible grammar mistakes! I want this story to be like no other and this first chapter might be a little slow, but I want to build up the plot and theme, and not rush everthing.**

**I AM LOOKING FOR A BETA-READER! PLEASE PM IF YOU CAN! I DO NOT OWN PERCY JACKSON."**

"No, you don't," Percy said, miffed. Leo giggled, he just couldn't help it. The responding glare effectively shut him up.

**"THIS IS A FANFICTION PURELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. ALL RIGHT GO TO RICK RIORDAN."**

"We have an author." Annabeth noted, "That's really weird…"

**"Chapter One**

**Third Person POV/ Hestia's POV"**

"Pov?" asked Percy.

"Point of view, I think," Annabeth replied.

**"If a goddess takes an oath, she is bond to that oath for as long as she lives."**

"Not so much for gods," Leo pointed out, grinning at Jason and Percy. Percy stuck out his tongue.

**"Like Hercules to his mortal point, to Prometheus being chained to a rock.**

**One day, Artemis, Hera, Athena and Hestia took an oath. The oath was the oath of virginity, which they all vowed to keep for as long as they lived. They vowed to never lose their virginity,"**

Hazel fanned her face with her hand, like she always did when she was flustered. Leo wondered if everyone did that in the 1940s. Restless, he began pulling odds and ends from his tool belt.

**"to never produce children, to be a maiden for life. This oath had strict punishments if broken; punishments that could make them fade for all eternity.**

**Though being the women that they are… they wanted children. So, they found ways to get around the oath. Athena had brain children;"**

Annabeth turned slightly pink at that.

**"Artemis created the hunt, one the most well known, powerful, monster slaying groups in the mythological world, Hera just had her immortal children (she didn't count this as breaking the oathm since she had her children before she took the vow). Even if she didn't show it, she still showed loved all her godly children."**

Annabeth snorted.

"Suuuure," Leo said, "That must be why she threw my dad off Olympus!" For once, the sky entirely failed to rumble. Then again, they had no idea where they were. Maybe they were underground somewhere.

**"So where does that leave Hestia? No children, no chair on the Olympian Counsel, and barely even noticed.**

**Every day she watched the children of Camp Half-Blood frolic past her, oblivious to it all, and one day she was just filled with a burning fury."**

Percy frowned at that, looking almost guilty. Then again, all of them had been at camp. What if Hestia really _did_ feel that way?

**"Burning fury to actually be seen, to actually have something of her own for once in her life. Hestia though, was still bound to her oath that she made many millennia ago. A thought had crossed her head though, an ancient practice that her mother taught before even Hades was born. It would be painful for her, but she would finally have what she desired for a while now, her own child"**

"DUN DUN DUUUUN!" he yelled, making the others all jump, and Jason actually fell off the couch. Getting up, he reached out and tapped Leo's arm, shocking him.

**"She flashed herself out of camp to her oldest and dearest home, Mount Ida. She pricked herself one time with a sharp needle, and out blossomed a tiny flame of blood. Quickly, she placed her hand above the burning flame of her hearth, and watched as a tiny drip of her golden ichor fall down into the burning hearth below her.**

**She stirred the hearth waiting for her child to emerge."**

"Enter Percy!" Leo said. Percy shot him a look, and he grinned and went back to his project.

**"Yes a child is what she is preparing. All she had to do was sacrifice her blood to her domain, and out would come a child, or that's how Rhea explained it to her many millennia ago."**

"Didn't Kronos eat Hestia before she could've learned that?" asked Jason. Annabeth shrugged. "It's fiction, not history."

**"Though there were many consequences, and setbacks to having a blood child. Most of them usually came out deformed or monster like."**

"We're _sure_ this is fiction?" Leo asked, giving Percy an innocent look. He threw a pillow at him. "Oh, so you wanna start something?" he asked, reaching over to where it had fallen.

"_Boys_," Piper said. Leo dropped the cushion.

**"Sometimes, the children became too powerful, and had to be destroyed before they were even properly formed. Hestia knew though, that her baby would come out fine. Powerful, but fine. She would train her baby to be the best. To always be known. To never have to experience the pain she had to go through. Finally, she felt something stir inside her hearth.**

**She looked inside the billow of flames, and her face lit up with a beautiful smile. There was the making of her baby. She could to see her beautiful baby… Boy?**

"Yes," Percy said, looking offended.

**"'Yes, a boy,' she thought to herself, at first confused on her baby's gender, as his… private parts hadn't developed into now."**

Percy turned tomato red and said, "I'll be the one laughing when it's about _you_ people." The smiles slid of Leo and his friends' faces, replaced by utter horror. Well, he had time. He'd enjoy it while it lasted.

**She'd make him the perfect gentleman;"**

Annabeth laughed and gave her boyfriend a playful shove. He shoved back, grinning.

**"make him grow up handsome, and strong. She saw the making of hair, black as raven, and it looked as silky as satin."**

Hazel, from her spot next to Percy, grabbed a fistful of his hair, laughing.

"Hey!" he yelped, swatting at her hand.

**"She could not only wait to see his eyes, see the manifestation of her reflected into him."**

"Does that mean I'm gonna have red eyes?" Percy asked, puzzled. "I mean, like Hestia's fire?" Leo shrugged.

**"'Hestia, what are you doing," Siad the two female voices behind her.**

"Busted!" Leo yelled. Jason reached over and clapped a hand over his mouth, which he leaned back to evade.

"This is actually…" Piper began, disbelieving, "…kind of fun?" The demigods looked at each other, realizing that she was right. For once, the all-powerful stranger gave them comfy couches and entertainment, rather than pain and death. What a nice change.

**"Hestia wiped her head around, eyes fearful that the mystery people would take her baby before he was even fully made. Then she relaxed profoundly, it was her two favorite friends. Odyne, goddess of pain,"**

"Wasn't that in the summary at the beginning?" Annabeth asked.

"Think so. Lucky me, the goddess of _pain_," Percy said, grimacing.

**"though not sadistic at all."**

"That's good…" Jason said, looking alarmed.

**"And Selene, the titan of the moon, hunt and marksmanship. She was the one to always lend a helping hand. Both were like her, unnoticed and unseen, though on the contrary, both were supposed to have faded millennia ago.**

**'Again, I repeat, Hestia, what in the name of Jay Leno,'"**

"Jay Leno?" Piper asked, "Who's that?" No one seemed to know, not even Annabeth.

**"'are ya doing,' drawled Odyne.**

**"'I'm making a child from my own blood, what do you think I'm doing, making Sunday brunch,' snapped Hestia, to tired and stressed to be nice.**

**Selene raised her eyebrows in shock, and peered around Hestia to see the rapidly growing baby boy. 'Um Tia,'"**

Leo giggled in spite of himself. "Tia? Aunt?"

Piper made a face at him, "As in, Hes_tia_?" He grinned in response.

**"'correct me if I'm wrong here, I thought baby's came from our… womanhood… Or Walmart,'"**

"Walmart?" Hazel asked, looking horrified.

**"'NOT from your creepy blue flame, witch dance thing,' she said, trying to make sense of what she was seeing.**

**Hestia looked at Selene like she had three heads. "Sel, baby's are made from…'"**

"NO!" yelled everyone but Hazel, who just covered her ears, in ragged unison.

**"'…never mind.'"**

Leo made an exaggerated forehead-wiping gesture, while most of the others just sighed in relief.

**"'And my baby will be made from my hearth, because its my symbol, and I can't make a real baby because I made the oath,' said Hestia very slowly, like she was speaking to a kindergartener.**

**Odyne then spoke up; 'Isn't a baby supposed to take nine months though? This baby looks like it's in its 5th moth stage, not some scrambled egg fetus thing.'"**

"Scrambled eggs…" Percy said thoughtfully, then wandered over to the fridge. "Anyone want anything?"

"Uh… what's in there?" Jason asked.

"Barbecue? _Hot_ barbecue?!" Percy said in disbelief, staring at the interior of the refrigerator.

"Sounds great…" Jason replied, looking a bit confused. "But it's a refrigerator…"

"He's an all-powerful being that can move so fast he pretty much teleports," Piper said, giving the boys odd looks. "And you think it's strange that he has hot food in a refrigerator?"

"Yeah, I mean… _why_?" Percy said, wide eyed. Then, across the screen flashed a message.

_To mess with you, why else?_

**"Hestia looked outraged," **the screen went on, ignoring Percy's spluttering and Leo laughing along with everyone else at his expression. **"'He does not look like a scrambled egg, he looks like a forming baby boy,' as she said this, she almost petted the flames that was making her first child,"**

"Uh… okay…" Percy said, wide-eyed, "That's a bit creepy."

**"'and the growing thing… I'm not sure.'**

**'It might be his power, powerful demigods tend to form faster in their mothers stomach, or in this case your hearth,' exclaimed the titan goddess wisely.**

**Odyne's head shot up, 'Hey Tie, what are you going to do about him. I mean where are you going to put him. He's obviously enormously powerful,'"**

"Gee, I wonder where they got _that _idea from, Mr. Hurricane?" Leo asked, sarcasm dripping. Percy made a face at him, which made it worth interrupting the screen-thingy in Leo's book.

**"'and you know old grumpy pants Zeus-'"**

Leo started laughing, and Percy joined in while Jason scowled at them.

**"'-will throw a fit,' said Odyne sharply.**

**Blue flames flicked in Hestia's eyes. 'I'm going to keep him, and train him. He will become my champion, and my secret. I will release him into the mortal world when he's ready, but for now… he's mine!'"**

"Whoa there!" Percy interjected, looking offended. "I'm not anyone's!"

"_Sure_ you aren't," Piper said sweetly, glancing pointedly at Annabeth, who blushed.

"Okay, fine," he said, throwing his arms up in surrender. "But I'm definitely not the gods'!"

**"said Hestia, with a terrifying look on her face. Odyne looked apprehensive. 'Whoa girl, calm down, I'm not going to take him away from you, actually I'm going to help you. With your permission, I'd like to give the boy my blessing when he'd finished forming.'"**

"She says that like he's getting dressed or something," Leo noted. Some gods just tossed these words around, like 'vaporize' and 'turn you into (insert animal here).'

**"'As being a maiden goddess myself, I'd like to see what kind of powers I pass along to children. Though I do have one rule, I'd like to train him as well,' exclaimed Odyne, with that look in her eyes that made you know she was planning something."**

"Uh oh," Percy said, his voice a monotone. He really took being written about by total strangers/stalkers personally.

**"Hestia looked grateful, 'Thank you Odyne, and yes you can train him.'**

**Selene, quiet until then, suddenly sat up like she was shocked 'Oh heck no, if Odyne's going to bless him, so am I! He needs some of my soothing powers compared to Odyne's over there. Tia, I'd like to claim the same rights as Od-"**

Leo giggled. "Odd!" he managed, and Piper gave him a withering glare.

"What are you, five?" she asked. He grinned and nodded. No point being kidnapped and force to read alternate universes if you're just going to sit there like a useless lump. Leo was going to make as many jokes as he possibly could.

**"'-over there, you know, training rights and such' the titan goddess shouted frantically.**

**Odyne growled playfully, 'Watch it Moonie,'"**

He couldn't just let _that_ go. "Moon!" he giggled. The joke wasn't the funny part, it was the exasperated looks Piper kept giving him.

**"'no matter how disgusting my powers are, I'm still the PAIN goddess, emphasis on the pain part.'"**

"Yeah, looks like I'd better avoid not doing my homework," Percy said, half joking and half alarmed.

**"Hestia looked like she was about to cry, 'You have no idea, how much this means to me, thank you guys, and yes Selene, you can train him as well."**

"Enter the summary," Annabeth observed.

**"Then a wailing, kind of crying sound came from behind Hestia."**

"Aww, wittle Pewcy!" Leo said, hoping his eyes were tearing up just a little.

"Jason, would you mind hitting him for me?" asked Percy, grinning evilly. Leo jumped up like the couch was on fire… uh, and he didn't have fire powers, and circled around the couch, sitting on the armrest next to Frank. Hazel began grinning in a way that made Leo nervous, then reached over and shoved him off. The white floor was, in fact, quite hard.

"Thanks Hazel!" Percy said brightly.

**"It was coming from the hearth. In all the chatter, they had forgotten about the baby boy. All three heads whipped around to see a beautiful baby boy almost floating in the air surrounded by flames. His skin was tan, like he sat in the sun for days, which is accurate because he was born in the flame; his hair was long and silky, black as raven. His eyes though, were closed. All of a sudden, there was a bright flash of red light, and the three goddesses shielded their eyes immediately. Then in a moment later, there was a distanced wail, and there in Hestia's arms, was here beautiful baby boy.**

**She immediately started to tear up, but determined not to let her see her friends cry. Selene though wasn't even trying.**

**Selene bawled out 'He's so beautiful, he's going to be a heart breaker when he grows up I'm telling you.'"**

Everyone but Percy burst out laughing.

"Don't you _dare_," Annabeth told him, when she had regained enough breath.

"As if I'd want to," he grinned, wrapping an arm around her.

**"Odyne smiled very faintly, a single tear forming in the corner of her eye, 'And he's all ours, wait Hestia, what are you going to name him?'**

**Hestia, who couldn't rip her eyes away from her beautiful boy, said, 'I don't know, but I want his name to have meaning and I want it to be related to Greek mythology of course.'**

"Perseus," Frank said. "Hmm, how did I know?"

Leo gasped, widening his eyes as far as they would go. "Frank… has a sense of humor?" Frank ignored him.

**"The Titan goddess ran her hand through the baby's hair. 'How about Perseus, Percy for short,' said Selene softly.**

**Hestia smiled slightly, 'I like it… last name?'"**

"Let me guess," Leo said, scratching an invisible beard.

"Jackson!" Piper interrupted, smirking at him.

"Hey!" he yelped, "No stealing punch lines!"

**"Odyne then spoke up, 'How about Jackson, it means gracious, and he's your son Hestia, and you know he's going to be a gentleman.'"**

Leo was pretty sure the screen-tape-whatever-thingy paused, but everyone was laughing too loudly to hear.

"Hey!" Percy yelped, but they could barely hear him over all the giggling. Eventually they died down, and the story continued.

**"Hestia smiled, 'I like it, Percy Jackson, the demigod born from the flames,'"**

"Title drop!" Leo interrupted, ignoring the widespread glares.

**"'the first demigod son of Hestia, blessed by Odyne and Selene, two major goddess,' she said softly. She then laughed. 'I have a feeling, he's going to have more titles than that, once he grows up.'"**

Under the knowing looks of everyone else in the room, Percy turned a red previously unknown to science.

**"Odyne then spoke up, 'Hey Tia, you know how impatient I am, and I really want to bless him, because I want to see what happens'"**

"Percy Jackon," Annabeth said, in a voice that mimicked movie trailer voices, "science experiment." He chuckled at that. _Of course he'd laugh at his girlfriend's jokes_, Leo thought.

**"said Odyne, jumping up and down like a little child in a candy store.**

**Hestia and Selene both laughed. 'Alright I'll let you and Sel bless him now!' exclaimed Hestia, smiling slightly at her excited friend, though never taking her eyes off her Percy."**

"Jeez, you'd think I was her favorite toy or something!" Percy exclaimed, looking miffed.

**"They both pointed their hands and shot a ball of energy, Selene's silver and white, and Odyne's a pure red.**

**(A/N [by Najio, not Hayley TT Showbiz]: I hate everything. Do I get faves for _TYPING IN RANDOM THINGS ON GOOGLE TRANSLATE UNTIL THE RIGHT LETTERS CAME OUT_ because IT WONT JUST LET ME COPY PASTE ON _FLIPPING FANFICTION!_ NOT EVEN GOOGLE T_RANSLATE, WHEN I PUT IN THEIR ENGLISH TRANSLATION I GOT SOMETHING ELSE AAARGH!)_**

**_'M_****_ε_****_την ευλογία_****_μας_****_, _****_δίνουμε_****_αυτό_****_τ_****_ο_****_ Perseus _****_Τζάκσον_****_, _****_τις_****_δ_****_υ_****_ν_****_ά_****_με_****_ις_****_και_****_την ευλογία_****_μας_****_.'"_**

"What?" Frank asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't really know," Annabeth said, looking equally puzzled.

"Don't you speak Greek?" Jason asked.

"I think that's Modern Greek, we speak Ancient Greek. It sounds like it's something about powers and blessings, but the language has changed a lot…" she replied.

**"The boy was enveloped in a vast glow of color that suddenly faded a minute later. Hestia smiled, 'Welcome home, Percy Jackson, welcome home,'**

** And with that, Percy Jackson opened his eyes to reveal beautiful flamed eyes, with beautiful deadly green flamed eyes, with beautiful deadly green flames dancing in his pupil."**

"Cool!" Percy said, grinning.

**"Please review! I want to know how I can improve this."**

"Do we really have to listen to the author's notes? I mean, it isn't like we can talk to them or anything," Leo complained.

**"Constructive criticism is _MOST_ and _EXTREMELY_ welcome. No flames please. Oh, and I'll probably edit this if it's bad. Anyway, Ill probably update faster if I get positive feedback from this first chapter. Next chapter will be the start of Percy becoming a boy,"**

"I didn't really have to _become _a boy," Percy said indignantly, "I just _am_."

"I don't think that's what they meant Percy," Annabeth told him, the corners of her mouth twitching.

**"no training yet. I want this to be a good story and not have it rushed. Oh, and the blessing was…**

** With our blessing, we give this Perseus Jackson, our powers and blessing.**

** I know terrible so yeah. Please review."**

"If it can make _me _laugh, while I'm in it, then it isn't terrible," Percy said, grinning.

"Uh, Percy?" Leo said, grinning, "They can't hear you." He received yet another scowl.

* * *

**SO YEAH! THE FIRST CHAPTER! Oh god, it's over 3500 words! O.o**

**If Hayley TT Showbiz doesn't want this up, just let me know and I'll pull it down!**

**Is it weird that writing this felt kinda like a three-thousand word review?**

**Oh yeah, and FANFICTION I HATE YOU WHYYY DID YOU MAKE ME TYPE OUT THAT GREEK THING! !WE#U*W$U%*# $%*&amp;$#*%&amp;*$&amp;%**

**Yeah. If you're recommending stories, yours or someone else's, would you mind securing any bits that are in Greek? I _NEVER_ want to do that again.**

**-.-**

**Oh, and just so you all know, I'm not criticizing anything! For instance, if I'm using a Perico fic, which I plan to because their reactions would be _hilarious_, I personally think there would be much choking and confusion and horror, but the pairing is great! LET YOUR IMAGINATION RUN WILD AND TERRIFY THE CANON!  
**

**Also, OH GOD 13 PAGES IN WORD I HAVE TO STOP NOW, if you're recommending something, try to keep it under 5,000 words or so. If you have something you _really_ want me to do, go for it, but definitely nothing over 10,000. It's a bit too late for this one, so I'm just gonna go for it, but in future I'd kinda rather use smaller ones…**

**OKAY! DONE RAMBLING!**


	3. PJTDBFF Part Two

**Herro! XD I'm back, and I brought my horrific monstrosity of a fic with me! :D Yay! Anyway, this is the second chapter! OH GOD IT'S GONNA BE REALLY LONG! D:**

**I'd also like to note that I reeeeeeally wanna do a Percico fic because IT WILL BE HILARIOUS! Any and all suggestions with pairings that would UTTERLY TERRIFY the canon are SO VERY WELCOME! :D**

**DISCLAIMER (Yes, in the middle of my A/N): YEP! I TOTALLY WROTE PJO! THEN, I WROTE THIS FANFICTION! THEN, I CREATED A NEW ACCOUNT IN WHICH I MESHED THE TWO TOGETHER INTO SOME KIND OF UNHOLY MUTANT FIC! TOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY!**

**Again, this is Percy Jackson, The Demigod Born From Flames! It's by Hayley TT Showbiz (who can tell me to remove it at any time!), suggested by ZataraGrace! Yaaaay and such!**

**guest (Uh, 2? THE ONE THAT REVIEWED CHAPTER 2 ON APRIL25!): I've read that one actually! It's a little longer than I'm looking for though… HMM… If you think you can get a docx or HOWEVER THE HECK YOU SPELL IT I could probably make it work… I dunno.**

**Ah, yeeeeehhhhsssss, I said in the summary I'd up the rating to the highest of the fanfics I have, but I have decided to do this instead:**

**WARNING! THE FOLLOWING FIC IS RATED M! CONTINUE AT OWN RISK!**

**Or maybe IF YOU READ THIS YOU ****_WILL_**** LOSE ALL YOUR INNOCENCE AND BE SCARRED FOR LIFE!**

**Just a drill this time, but YEAH!**

**Hmm… what POV to use… decisions, decisions…**

* * *

**"****Author's Note: Hey guys I'm back!"**

"Hi!" Leo yelled back, grinning evilly.

"Hey!" Percy shouted a second later, looking even _more_ evil, if possible. Piper shot him a curious look. "What? I can't say hi too?" He asked, widening his eyes into that expression that reminded her of baby seals. Sighing, she settled back into the couch. It was pretty unsettling, how bright everything was. It was like a field of unbroken snow, but all over the walls and ceiling too.

**"****I can't believe, how well this story is coming out! I expected like, 2 reviews at the maximum! Not 27 frickin reviews!"**

"_Ooooh!_" Leo said, like someone had just been sent to the principal's office or something. She glared at him, but that was probably _why _he was doing it in the first place.

**"****That's incredible and not at all what I expected. I also like to give a shout out to my new Beta-Reader,"**

"What is that?" Piper asked.

_Ugh._ The screen had more words scrolling across it. _If I tell you, would you PLEASE let it go?_

"Yeah!" Leo yelled, bouncing up and down and clapping his hands.

_Stop embarrassing yourself Leo._ He stopped and stared at the screen, wide-eyed. Piper didn't blink. Whoever that guy was, he was powerful enough to teleport all seven of them to wherever this was, or kidnap them in their sleep. Noticing a hyperactive demigod wasn't that difficult. _A beta-reader is an… editor of sorts. They are sent the stories and fix grammar mistakes._

"Oh," Annabeth said, "That makes sense."

_Especially when all the writers are unpaid and on the internet._ The screen pointed out, before the words faded away again.

**"…****ILoveMyBesties!"**

"What?" Percy burst out. Now he looked like a _puzzled_ baby seal.

_Their username, moron._ The screen replied. _This is the LAST TIME I dignify something like that with an answer._

"I'm starting to like this guy!" Leo said, smirking at Percy. He jumped up to avoid another flying cushion, then sauntered off to the fridge and pulled out a coke.

**"****Oh, and my beta-reader informed me of something, Id just like to say that, yes there is a pain goddess and a moon titan in the legends. So, here is the second chapter and please tell me who you think Percy should be paired up with."**

Leo, who had just taken a gulp of soda, choked and spat out a mouthful while Annabeth and Percy both made odd noises and turned bright red. Piper and Hazel started laughing at the same time, more from the look on their faces than anything else. By the time Leo recovered from the inhaled soda and joined in, Jason and Frank were gasping for breath, and the noise drowned out whatever Percy was trying to say.

It took a while for the giggles to subside, and Piper noticed absently that the spatter of soda on the floor had vanished.

"You know," Annabeth noted, an amused look on her face, "You're all next." Piper shut her mouth and fought down a sudden urge to hide under the couch.

**"****I'm looking for out-of-the-box ideas here! Please Vote on my poll, thank-you to one of my reviewers for giving me some ideas!"**

"Great. Thanks," Percy said, scowling at the screen. Piper could've sworn she heard faint laughter coming from it, but she was probably making it up. Probably.

**"****All right here is the second chapter!**

**I'd also like to personally thank on here Jacksonpotterride! You-re amazing girl!**

**Percy is 2 years old"**

"Fan_fiction_, huh?" Leo asked her, laughing. Noticing where her boyfriend was looking, Annabeth snatched another cushion from his reach and handed it to Jason.

**"****Hestia POV/Third Person**

**Fire and Hearth, they must always be together, without one, the other cannot thrive. Fire can bring people together, it can spread warmth, happiness and light to anyone in the room. It also be un-predictable though… deadly and impulsive."**

Six pairs of eyes fixed on Leo, who grinned and pulled out a box of matches from his tool belt. He wouldn't really catch fire though… probably.

**"****The hearth is the rock though. It keeps the fire from being impulsive, form turning evil‒"**

"Hey!" Leo said indignantly.

**"‒****it kindles the fire, so it can be at it's strongest and brightest. It's the fires home, though homes can be broken, or over-thrown…**

**Hestia's rambling thoughts then drifted off towards her beautiful baby boy. I****_n this sense, what or who, would the hearth represent? The fire is Percy, but who would the hearth be?"_**

"Vote now," Leo interrupted, making Percy turn a violent shade of red and start mumbling about how he wasn't going to be voted on.

**"****_Every fire needs its hearth. But whom…_**

**She was suddenly thrown out of her thoughts when a a childish, tinkling, sort of bells laughter came from behind her."**

"Aww…" Piper cooed, doing her best to sound like the girls in her cabin but smirking at Percy all the while. Leo couldn't have _all_ the fun!

"Leave me alone!" he whined, burying his face in the back of the couch.

**"****She turned her head slightly to see quite an amusing sight.**

**The usual paintings on the soft red wall were now burned to a crisp, charred to disbelief."**

"Ickle Percy and his pyromania," Leo said, joining two wires with a quick burst of flame from his pointer finger.

"Look who's talking," Percy retorted.

**"****The Moon Titan was writhing on the ground, com-pulsing violently as her body was locked in a fetal position. The pain goddess was now running around, arms flailing, while being chased by a flame and magical floating arrow army that only seemed to multiply by the minute."**

"Alternate universe Hestia has a strange sense of humor," Frank commented.

**"****And in the middle of all the chaos was Percy, eyes changing color rapidly, from flames, to silver to pure black.**

**She then studied her little boy and his quirky habits."**

"Quirky," Jason said in disbelief, raising an eyebrow at the screen.

**"****Already he was showing an amazing amount of raw power. Zeus would surely destroy him if he found about the child. She doubted Aphrodite would let seeing as he was already becoming a beautiful little boy. With that raven black hair of his, his tan but chubby cheeks body, and his fascinating, beautiful flame eyes…"**

Percy turned redder and redder with every word, as Leo began snickering and pulled out some… paint?

"Leo, what are you doing?" Piper asked, not entirely sure she wanted to know.

"You'll see!" Leo replied with a smile that was somehow warm _and_ unsettling.

**"'****Hestia, you better freaking help me now, before I go all Athena on your face,'"**

It was Annabeth's turn to blush now, looking at Leo as if daring him to comment.

**"screamed out Odyne, still running for her life from the ever slowly advancing army.**

**'****Yeah, please, help,' gasped out Selene, who somehow seemed to be com-pulsing faster than before (if that was even possible)."**

"This is a bit disturbing actually," said Percy, frowning.

**"****Hestia looked around at the mess laughing, then she turned her head and softly said, 'Hey sweetie, can you turn your powers off please, you're hurting your aunties.'**

**Percy looked up widely and frantically, eyes bright with blue flames, which usually meant he was confused or scared."**

"He didn't notice they were upset? Evil is looking like a serious possibility…" mused Jason.

"Well, he _is_ two," Percy pointed out.

"Percy," Leo said, with exaggerated patience, "stop defending your evil self."

**"****His lower lip started to tremble, 'I'm hurting aunties, I sowy,' cried Percy, 'I turn off.'"**

"A‒" Leo began, but was cut off by a pillow whacking him square in the mouth.  
"Don't you dare."

**"****Immediately, Selene stopped com-pulsing, and the flame and arrow army dissipated into the air. Percy stood up on his wobbly two-year-old legs, and walked slowly over to Hestia. He reached his arms to her, wiping his tears off because in his mind, big boys didn't cry."**

"Aww, is Percy a big boy now?" teased Leo, and Percy slumped in his seat.

"I give up," he said, resting another cushion on his face.

"How many of those things are there anyway?" asked Piper. She hadn't really noticed before, but there were pillows _everywhere_.

Percy shrugged. "A lot," he said.

**"'****Up please mommy,' said Percy, still teary from before, even though he tried not to show it."**

Leo started making kissy faces at Percy, who groaned. "Can I just grow up now?"

She couldn't resist. "We've been asking that same question for years!" Piper replied, giggling.

**"****Hestia picked him up, holding him tightly as if he was going to disappear any second. 'They forgive you Percy, right guys?'**

**Odyne walked over slowly and warily now free of the flames, 'Yea, as long as you stop doing that flame thing Champ. Tia, I really think we should start training him, like NOW.'"**

"Yes please!" Percy said, sitting up and banging his head against his knees. "I can't _wait_ until it's about Leo!"

**"'****He's worrying me, with all that raw power he's showing,' stated Odyne.**

**'****Yeah, if I get pain-attacked one more time…' threatened Selene."**

"_Pain attacked?!"_ Percy blurted out, horrified.

**"****Her threat really didn't hold any challenge though, as she was still trying to will her body to let her out of the fetal position."**

"Adorable," Jason commented drily.

**"****Percy turned his beautiful silver eyes now, changing his eye color as he deemed necessary and said, 'I so sorry Sel, I start training now, I don't want to hurt anybody anymore.'"**

"Right, I'm gonna grab some chips," Percy said, pretending not to notice all the sniggering.

**"****Hestia looked at her child, head shaking widely, 'Percy, think about this, training with us will be difficult and you're only 2 years old, I really think that's not the best idea.'**

**Percy shook his head violently, 'No, I want to start now! No hurt anybody no more.'"**

Seventeen-year-old Percy was still hiding behind the refrigerator door, but Piper could see that his ears were turning pink.

**"'****How about we start training you for battle when you're four, but start training you with your powers when you're three?' stated Odyne**

The screen was interrupted by a loud crackling sound coming from where Leo was sitting, making everyone jump. Piper scooted a few inches further away from him. "Seriously Leo, what are you doing?" she asked, staring at the mass of wires and plastic pipes in his lap.

"Nothing!" he replied innocently.

**"'****I like that, it's a compromise, and really Hestia, you're arguing with a two year old,' drawled Selene.**

**Hestia shot Selene with a glare, 'He's very intellectual and cunning, don't degrade him.'"**

"_Suuure…_" Leo smirked, still tinkering with whatever it was he was making.

"Uh, is that a watergun?" asked Percy, pointing at one of the plastic tubes and a plunger that the son of Hephaestus was connecting.

"Sorta," he replied, not looking up.

**"'****And it's important to include him on this stuff, it's his powers and body.'**

**Odyne shot Hestia a wary smile. 'Calm down Hestia, Im kind of scared of you right now, usually you're pretty calm, but ever since Percy was born, you've been tense, really protective, and sort of snappy.'**

**'****Yeah, Tia, were worried about you,' asked Selene.**

**'****Yeah mommy, please don't hur yourself, plwease,'"**

Percy, who had just sat down, promptly jumped up again and went for the refrigerator again.

**"****whispered Percy his famous eyes back, 'I wove you, nad I don want to see you hurtin.'"**

"STOP!" Percy yelled, covering his ears with his hands.

**"****Hestia started to tear up a little hearing them, 'You guys are the best of friends, and you are the best son a women could ever have, and you're right that I have been stressed. I just can't take a break though.**

**She turned her head downward towards Percy. "I love you too much Percy to see you get hurt, I promised to protect you on the till I fade, I swear this on the ****_River Styx_****.'"**

Wherever they were, thunder entirely failed to rumble for the second time that day.

**"****She then turned her head towards her friends thunder rumbling in the background from the oath she just took, illuminating her face making her look powerful and frightening, yet still scared.**

**'****And I couldn't expect you guys to take care of Percy, I just couldn't.'**

**Selene smiled softly, 'Sure you can, give him to us for a few hours. We'll watch him, and look he's sleeping. Go check your hearth and your Mount freaking Olympus.**

**A slight snore came from Hestia's arms.  
In all the commotion, the goddess again forgot about the baby boy in her arms, she looked down at her baby to see him sucking on his thumb, and snoring slightly."**

"Ugh," Percy said, making a face. "Do they _have_ to make him act like that?"

"You mean like a cute little kid?" Piper asked, grinning.

"Yeah, it's embarrassing!"

"Percy," Leo said, as if he was telling a stubborn kid that two and two made four, "That's why this is so entertaining."

**"'****Aww, he's adorable,' cooed Hestia."**

"Aww!" Hazel and Annabeth said, leaning over towards Percy.

"Stop it," he pleaded, putting his face in his hands.

**"'****Dang Rabbits, just giveme the baby boy,' stated Odyne in an exasperated tone, forcefully taking the baby boy out of Hestia's arms."**

"You're being kidnapped," Leo observed.

**"****Hestia looked worriedly around the two friends she called sister, then made up her mind, 'Alright, make sure he's safe though,' threatened Hestia, ' If I come back to see a mess then…**

**'****Don't worry about us, we'll be fine, we've taken care of Percy before,' reassured Selene.**

**'****Alright…' Said Hestia warily, and then flashed out in a burst of flames.**

**The two goddesses thought the same thing at the same time; this is going to be a piece of cake."**

"He's going to blow up the mountain," Annabeth said, matter-of-factly.

**"****All of a sudden though, Percy's eyes flashed open, red-bursting flames sprinkled in his pupil, silver ringed around that, and pure blackness everywhere else."**

"Yep," Percy replied, popping the "p".

* * *

**"****Hestia didn't know what she was expecting when she flashed herself to Mount Olympus. Maybe a search party, distresses call for help… something, anything. Not this, never this. For what she saw was horrifying… she saw nothing wrong."**

"Oh the horror!" Leo gasped from behind his ever-growing contraption.

**"****Everybody going along his or her business, nobody even notices that she just returned from a 3-month absence (time passes faster in Mount Ida, because of Kronos remnants).**

**Hestia's face fell, 'Am I really that invisible, or am I just that plain?' she thought to herself, almost tearing up."**

Piper noticed that Percy was squirming in his seat, this time not from his alternate-self's antics.

**"****She turned away to flash back to her baby boy, when all of a sudden a pair of tan, muscled, set of arms lifted her up into a bone-crushing hug. She immediately panicked, and shot a fireball from her back to her attacker. There was a distinct OW, and her capturer jumped back cradling his badly burnt arm.**

**She leapt back, ready to strike at a moment's notice, when all of a sudden the stranger lifted his head for her to see, and an all too familiar face popped into her line sight.**

**'****Really fireball, was that really necessary? I've been searching for you for over 3 months, and then when I do find you, you attack me! It's not like I'm a drunken Apollo,'"  
**"Drunken Apollo?" Frank asked, puzzled.

"I don't think we want to know…" Percy said, wrinkling his nose.

**"…****ranted Poseidon, still clutching his badly burned arm.**

**Hestia's face lit up with joy, 'You noticed I was missing! Wait, who else did? Are you Alright? When did you find out that I was gone?' ranted Hestia, firing questions off like it was a speed-date and they only had a minute left.**

**Poseidon scratched his head with a confused look on his face. 'Whaaatt yaw say?'"**

"He doesn't talk like that!" pouted Percy.

**"****Hestia sighed slowly, 'Did anybody notice that I was missing?'**

**'****OH, no, just me, and I didn't tell anybody…I didn't want to look stupid if I found out you were just at Camp Half-Blood or what not. And yeah, by arm does hurt fireball…. by the way, why are you carrying a baby bag?' questioned Poseidon."**

"Oops," Piper muttered.

**"****Hestia blushed and cursed in Greek. 'It's nothing, the mortals always do this egg, baby thing, and I wanted to try it out,' lied Hestia, very obviously, might I add."**

"Yeah, bad lie," Leo agreed.

**"'****Hestia, what did you do!' exclaimed Poseidon; starting to advance on her, cornering her with his body and his forming water army.**

**'****Nothing! And I can't tell you…it's for your own safety… and mine.' whispered Hestia, feeling guilty that she had to keep a secret from Poseidon.**

**'****Screw protecting me Hestia! You know I'm the only one that truly cares about you, and what's going on with this secret thing, I tell you everything!' whispered Poseidon, sounding hurt but then his voice suddenly dropped to a whisper, 'I don't want to see you get hurt… I can protect you, and I will.'**

**'****I can't, I'm sorry but I can't tell you, maybe later but not today,' whispered Hestia flashing out, as she was not able to take the guilt anymore.**

**All that was left of their conversation was a very confused and frustrated Poseidon, the smell of smoke in the air, and one body that slipped quietly out of the room right after Hestia left; hearing and recording the entire conversation unnoticed."**

"DUN DUN DUUN!" Leo shouted. Something in his machine sparked and caught his shirt on fire, and he had to beat it out while everyone edged away from him.

* * *

**"****Hestia appeared at Mount Ida a few moments later, eyes misty, and a very troubling conversation still re-playing in her head. She wiped the tears off her eyes, determined not to let her friends and baby boy see that she was in tears.**

**Speaking of her baby boy… she suddenly stretched out her hearing and senses (a gift from Odyne), then sighed softly. She heard nothing. She didn't even know why she was worried, Percy probably slept through the entire thing."**

"Nope," Piper said, sure that something was going to be destroyed.

**"****She then swept open the door, 'I'm Home.' Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her.**

**'****What in the name of all things sane happened here?'"**

"How did we know?" wondered Annabeth, tapping her cheek and giving Percy a pointed look.

"What?" he said defensively.

"You blew up Mount St. Helens!" she reminded him.

"You _what_?" demanded Jason and Piper at almost the same time, while everyone else gaped at him.

"It was an accident!" he protested, not reassuring anyone.

**"****Hey guys, I hope you like the second chapter as much as the first! I know these last two chapters have been quite slow, but trust me there will be action, Jay Leno remarks, and much more in the next chapter. Again please review and tell me who Percy should be with‒"**

Percy went red again and started staring intently at his shoes.

**"‒****and what you think Hestia saw when she came home!**

**Please review, that's the only way I know that I'm doing something right! And I usually PM/review your story if you review mine!"**

The screen went silent.

"Alright!" Leo said, standing up and hefting the modified water gun.

"What are you doing?!" Piper demanded, getting up. She wasn't sure if she should be backing away or trying to snatch the, well, whatever it was.

"Redecorating!" He replied, and pressed the trigger.

Paint of all the colors of the rainbow flew out of the gun, through a fan he had wired onto the front of it, and sprayed in all directions. The walls went from white to tye-dye in a manner of seconds as Leo ran around the room, shooting the ceiling and even the floor in his painting frenzy.

By the time his device ran out of ammo, the entire room had gone from looking like a hospital room to the wreckage of a dye factory explosion. Seconds passed, with Leo grinning like he hadn't done anything crazy and everyone else to stunned to talk.

"It should vanish…" she said a minute later, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" Percy asked, staring at the mess all over the walls.

"When Leo spilled soda earlier, it disappeared after a second or two."

Words began to slide across the screen again.

_Oh, the new look is much more of an eyesore. I can't bring myself to destroy a masterpiece of clashing like that!_

Leo sighed, putting down the gun. "It isn't that bad…" he protested, his voice trailing off as he noticed that most of the paint had run together and mixed into various greys and browns. "Oops."

* * *

**Soooooo! Remember to review, gimme gimme Percico stories, and I have to sleep now. It's one a.m. and I'm sick.**


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